Kirk Novak: The First Time I Bent That Big Ass Over for a Shot

Drinkers with Writing Problems

It was a Groupon. A bunch of a us bought a Groupon. It was for a trampoline wonderland in suburban Chicago. A magical impossibility! We rolled up to the office park in our four door sedans on a summery afternoon and stepped inside. We were greeted by staff, all of whom were at least half our age, and taken to a room for orientation. Safety first! As we watched the video, I glanced around and noticed that we were at least three times older than all of the clients of this place that should not exist. A Dad of one of the customers looked real stoked that he was there with people his own age.

We entered. Aside from the all ages trampoline dodgeball deathmatch cage, there was one area in the back corner where mature adults were allowed to jump around. 16 and up. That’s for us. I took…

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