Addressing The Elephant In The Room

The Captain's Speech

Dear Mr. Elephant,

Why are you in the room?

Sorry, I’m jumping ahead. I should ask if I can call you Mr. Elephant. Can I call you Mr. Elephant? Or is Mr. Elephant your father?

Time out. I can’t stop laughing.

Would you like me to call you something else? I can call you by your DJ name – Grandmaster Trunk. No? You’re right, it’s too long. So is your DJ name.

What about Ellie? Right, you’re not a girl. Hmm. Have any nicknames as a baby elephant? Peanuts? Thunder thighs? Stomper? I’m not making any progress here. I’m just going to call you Mr. Elephant.

Mr. Elephant, are you aware that people are always wanting to address the elephant in the room, a.k.a you? Oh, you’re not? Well, that’s a plot twist. Am I saying it correctly? “Address the elephant”? People aren’t saying, “Dress the elephant” are they?

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